Mama's Midlife Mire: Just another day in the life

Today -

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 00:32:05 GMT

Today, we went to the movies, had an ice cream, came home, wrote a couple letters and drew pictures. Guess it was time for a break!! I'd promised Kiki the movie if her room was done ~ and it was!!! Will wonders never cease.

Next week, it's Theatre Camp for Kiki, and back to the cleaning for mama!

Ahhhh..... getting to sleep in!!

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 08:24:52 GMT

Vacation Bible School is over. It was a blast, actually, but I am so excited to get to sleep in tomorrow!! Yay!!

Kiki's friend is spending the night. Kiki was at her house last night. And I forgot that two nights of anyone sort of gets to be too much for my daughter - they weren't doing too well by bedtime, so I was glad they fell asleep while watching their movie. (they swore they were going to stay up "really really late") I have got to remember this point - NO friends or cousins 2 nights in a row if I can help it!!

Merry has a wicked ear infection - bacterial and yeast. Poor girlie dog. Our little trip to the vet today cost $166.00!! Not to mention she got all stressed out while the doc was examining her, and I just happened to be standing by her hind end - and she piddled all over my leg. Niiiiice. Gotta love that dog! I'd been trying my little home remedies which sometimes do work, but not this time around, dang it.

Well, I'm off to bed or the whole 'sleeping in' point will be destroyed by the girls getting up too early for my liking..... I'll try to get more regular on my blogging again.

It's all good :) Okay, not all.....

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 03:49:56 GMT

Alright. Here's the scoop. VBS started today and it actually went really well. Kiki is in a group with a couple of her school buddies, so she quit griping and had a fun day. I am doing the crafts with 3 other gals from church that I know and really like, so we had a fun day. The whole "helpers need to arrive at 7:30" deal still kicks me in the head, but we'll make it through!

As far as transportation - I have my SUV back! Yay me!! Alan did buy a motorcycle over the weekend, a Suzuki 650. Smaller than bikes he's had in the past, but he really likes it. (We'll see how he loves it come wintertime, lol) but so far, he's really enjoying being back on a bike. The biggest "sticker shock" came in buying the helmet - they've nearly doubled in price since he last bought one! Like, to the tune of $200 - $300 for the average, good one. yiyiyiyiyiyi. We decided to put off buying one for Kiki and I for awhile! Anyway, I'm glad to have my "freedom" back..... I forgot how much we've come to rely on our personal transportation. When we lived in Tacoma, we had a great bus system, so it was not a big deal to have just one car, but here the bus system is.... well, I'll be nice and say "lacking". It's pathetic, honestly. And since we live on the edge of civilization, it's kind of necessary to be able to get places.

And now, for the bad news.....

This afternoon, my mom and I took Kimba to the vet and had him put to sleep. You all know how much I love my animals, so you know how sad I am. He was also the last of the "4 Muskateers", our little group who lived together on the acreage. The 2 dogs and 2 cats who shared the straw-filled dog house. He was on the far end of 18 years old, and was just not doing well at all. Of course, since mom had decided "today is the day", and he's been doing nothing but laying around for a couple weeks.... well, today he was up and about, and was so happy to see me when I came.... it was like yeah, make it a little harder on us, will ya? There were a few moments of levity, though - like when we first walked into the vet's office. I had just carried Kimmie in, and he was meowing loudly (not because he was upset or anything, it's just how he was) and this rather old and somewhat rickety looking couple was there with their little dog.... they looked at us with this kind look on their faces, and asked "Oh, what's the matter with your kitty?" I stood there, trying to figure out how to answer. Because, the truth was - "well, he's old and not doing too good"....uh, kinda like you??? I mean, really! What could I say that wouldn't sound bad?? The other was on the way home, and my mom and I were talking. See, Kimba had long, soft, white fur. He'd been an outdoor cat his whole life (well, he got spoiled once he moved in with mom and dad and was then an indoor/outdoor cat) but he'd always taken really good care of his coat - we hardly ever brushed him, and he looked good. About 6 months or so ago, he quit. And he decided he didn't want anyone else messing with it either, so he looked absolutely terrible. Not to mention he'd lost most of his weight, and since he's been huddled up in the garage the last few weeks, he was filthy to top it off. I was somewhat ashamed to take him in that condition. On my way down to my parent's house, I was actually considering if it would work if I tried to use some babywipes to at least clean him up a little. Then I was like "geez, what a thought, girl." Probably make it muddy. So, my mom and I were going home after, and I was saying how I'd felt bad, and she said she did too, except they've been his vet for years, and they know him, and that he's always been loved and cared for. Then she says "I even tried to wash him up a little with some babywipes before you came." I laughed so dang hard!!! I'm not the only crazy cat lover in my family, lol.

Well, Kimba is once more with his 3 best buddies, and I know he is happy. Me....not so much.

One down, one to go.... Vacation Bible School

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:18:21 GMT

Am I the only one who agrees to do something, then when the time actually comes wonders if she really should have her head examined? (okay, y'all know I need my head examined, but let's overlook that for the moment, shall we??) This week was VBS at my parent's church, and I have volunteered to help at it ever since we moved here.... I think it started when I took Kiki the first year, and they were shorthanded, so I stayed on. This was the 4th year I've helped now. It's a small church, so I know most of the folks - and they at least know who I'm the child of, if nothing else. This was the first year, however, that the VBS at my own church is being held on a different week, so like a moron I signed up to help at that one, too. I am sooooo stinkin' tired after this week, the last thing I want to do is do it all over again next week! Not to mention I have no source of transportation. Nope. Alan sold his little pickup, and we've both been scouring the paper and internet, and there is not squat out there in our price range. I mean, without Bondo and rust. Unless I want something that gets lousy mileage, which is the reason I'm in this spot in the first place..... sigh. I'm so not into beaters. Weird, I know. Luckily, one gal who does my mom's VBS lives near me, so we got a ride each day. Is that lucky? Would it have been luckier if I couldn't have gotten there?? Lol. Next week is a different matter. We live pretty far away from our chuch, and chances are no one is coming from here to do VBS next week.... I'm not sure what I'm doing about that, yet. So last night we were out looking at motorcycles. Alan tried very hard to just be reasonable and all, but I could see that old gleam returning to his eye. He sat on this, umm, I think it was a Ninja 1150, and sheeshh..... I think I'm glad we can't afford one of those!! (Oh, he's had them in the past - as we told Kiki last night, "we used to be cool"....heeheee) The little 500's were more in our catagory.... maybe a 650. But then you have the whole 'snow and ice' deal in the winters here.... he probably couldn't ride year 'round like he did in California. Not to mention he wasn't a "middle-aged fat man" back then, either (his words, I swear!) so it could be harder on him, now. I hate being poor. Yep, he still loves his job and he still isn't making money at it. That doesn't work out too well, y'know? Last night I got the "we need to think about selling the house" speech. Dang it. Living in my parent's garage doesn't seem all that appealing to me. In fact, we'd have to live in the shed out back, really....dad would never turn his cars out for us. That'd be funnier if it didn't hold a whole lot of truth in it.

Well, Kiki is spending the night at my parent's tonight.... guess I'll try to figure out something fun for Alan and I to do on our "night off". Hey, not that! Did you miss the "middle-aged fat..." description of us??? Lol. Hey, maybe we'll go out for ice cream...... hehhehheh.

Too much research

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:32:55 GMT

Alan sold his little pickup today. So now we only have one car - yeah, that'll work! Actually, we've been trying to find a little economy car (my dad'd say an "econo-can") for me to drive, since I post the most miles.....and we really owe too much on the SUV to reasonably trade it in, so we figured; sell his truck for cash then buy something I'll actually drive. I refused to drive his pickup (not because I don't like trucks! I'm a truck kinda girl!) but not his - manual transmission (which would be okay but it has a ridiculously long clutch for my short legs!) and no air, and no power steering (no joke, I've nearly hit people when trying to pull into a parking lot because the thing is a bear to turn!) We've been looking around some, but of course any dealership wanted to give him a pathetic amount for trade-in value...so, we knew we'd be better off to sell it and use the cash for the 'new' car. And that's where the headache comes in!! We've got a limited amount of cash to spend so that sort of limits you! When we find something, I research it online - and good lord, they all suck! Whether it's safety, or recalls, or just generally not well made. Ugh. I'm not even talking about lack of good looks, because that's a given that I'm not going to find anything exciting. Last night my mom's friend said she was going to sell her VW 'new' bug - not what I'd really looked for but it's pretty dang cute and she said she gets awesome mileage.... but then her husband said "no, it is not for sale!" Go figure. Old people. Lol.

Sometimes too much knowledge can be a burden. I don't even want to look anymore! Uh, but, that won't really work, now will it? Because I have places to go, things to do! Do any of you have a little economy car that you think rocks?? Let me know, huh? Maybe help me know what to look for?

Time flies even if you're not having fun

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 23:30:42 GMT

It's already July?? When did that happen? This week I am supposed to be cleaning the house....wait, that's not quite right... I am trying to dig out the house from under a pile of stuff. (If you think I'm exaggerating, I could post pics!) We spent all day yesterday trying to find Kiki's room....still haven't dis-covered it. Today I was supposed to go to a, I don't know, a therapist/counselor/new-age healer chick. I had some misgivings about going - that whole "Christianity vs. whatever the heck this stuff is" and should I go or not.... I prayed really hard about it, that going would help. So, this morning I dropped Kiki off at my sister's house, got lost trying to find this gal's house, never could find the address, tried twice to call her, finally got someone at her number - who told me she'd had to go to the hospital very early this morning with kidney stone trouble. So. Was that just a case of my cruddy luck, or was that God telling me I need to find a different way to deal with my problems? Sigh. So of course I had to do a little 'retail therapy' to make up for that, lol! I wasted pretty much this whole day, not to mention spent money I shouldn't have. Which is one thing I am really good at. You gotta go with your strengths, right??!

Got some more reflux medication samples from my doctor. So I don't have to fork over $105.00 for the stuff, yet. Yay!

Kimba the cat is still hanging in there. I call my mom every day for the daily update. He is actually doing a little better, but not great.

Alan is still loving his job but still barely making any money. So that sucks. Not him loving it - the no money part.

Well, I have a birthday party to go to tonight, and I am bringing a fruit salad - what's up with that, anyway?? I swear, lately, every time I am invited over to someone's house for a meal, it's like "oh, and would you please bring.....". It's not that I begrudge them - whoever - of needing a little help (except, well, you invited me, so why aren't you providing this?). Mostly, I am just lazy and don't want to be bothered. Which is why I haven't invited anyone over to my house..... lazy, lazy. And poor. Anyway, I gotta go chop up some fruit....

Hah! It's the next day.

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 22:59:28 GMT

Hey. I've got nothing to say, but I thought, wouldn't it be cool if I actually blogged two days in a row? So here I am. Done a bunch of laundry today, yeehaw. But at least Kiki may have clean undies to take to Grandmas. We might go look at a car tonight - 1980 Alfa Romeo Spider. Cause that'd be totally practical for me, don't you think?! lol. I love my suv, but it's such a gas hog! I'm trying to figure out if I should trade it in, or buy a cheap car for cash and just keep the Isuzu garaged for those days when I need the big ol' guy. The suv, that is. Hence the looking at the 28 year old Spider. I gotta tell you though - that was my dream car when I was in high school!! Oh, crap. Just how long ago was I in High School then???

Update:

First, maybe the upper bit was confusing - we have just two vehicles currently - my Isuzu Ascender (the SUV) and my hubby's little Ford Ranger. He's keeping his truck (decent mileage, not to mention paid cash for it) so it's just my suv up for discussion. Do I trade it in for something (relatively) new that gets much better mpg, but lose a bunch of money in the process (owe too much on it, of course!) so we'd still have 2 vehicles, just a different one in the pair, (eventually the better mileage would cover the loss) or, do I pay cash for a little beater-type car that will save me gas money, and just keep the suv for 'necessary' times....so then we'd have three vehicles, two paid for.... does that make sense?

Anyhoo, went to see the car... as the owner said, it's a 20/20 car - looks real good from 20 feet away or moving past at 20 mph... lol. A bit worn on closer inspection. We knew that beforehand, so no surprises. In a way, I find it a little exciting - it'd be sort of a "project car" and I've thought about doing that before....(my dad's a 'car guy') but, on the other hand, it has to run good, because I can fix the 'looks' a little at a time, but I can't have a car to save me gas $$ if it doesn't run, eh?? I'm thinking of taking my dad out to see it tomorrow, get his expert opinion. Of course, I already know what he'll say - he's always been a mechanical guy - he'd jump at it if it looked great but didn't run, but he's not so much on the cosmetic rebuilding. But, I want him to tell me if it's mechanically sound, so we'll see.

I am out of my reflux meds, so I just unloaded my entire dinner - and, possibly, my lunch - yeah, it was that bad. Well, now that that's over with, I can go to bed with no worries! I knew it was gonna happen, so I figured there was no sense in lying down and feeling miserable, just waiting.... Wouldn't you think that would help me lose weight?? I mean, it's like being ... oh, shoot, what's the word?? The whole 'purging' thing? Bulimia? Anyway, no, it's never helped, no matter how many meals I've lost. That's my luck.

Sporadic Blogging

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 04:58:33 GMT

I thought that having Summer Break would be awesome. I forgot that moms never get a break. The difference in summer is that Kiki is now home every single day. I can't even hear the voices in my head anymore! Oh, I love the kid dearly, and most of the time I enjoy her company. Lately however, it seems like I could really use a break!! So, guess what? She is leaving this weekend to go spend a week at Grandma's! And I'll probably be missing her like crazy, won't I?? I'm weird like that. I've just been really stressed over - well, life, I guess - and she's on my last nerve a bit. Not her fault. But I think it'll be a nice break. She's flying on a plane all alone. She's never done that before, and I am a little freaked out about it. Just because she's my baby. It's a direct flight, and only about an hour. We've done it together bunches of times. I can't believe I think she's grown up enough to do this! She's really excited, and a bit nervous as well. This week we are doing lots of laundry and packing and buying new stuff to take.... we went clothes shopping today. She made some - interesting - choices! I couldn't convince her of my opinion that "shoes make the outfit." She's like "I have tennis shoes, sandals, and flip flops. I'm set." HUH!! She is so not my child!! I wanted to buy her a pair for every outfit... after two pairs of "they're too tight" she wouldn't try any more on. I suppose Alan would be proud. Saved him money.

Anyway, I have stuff I'd like to whine about, but I think I'll spare you for today. I've just been busy trying to keep my head about water around here, house-work-wise, so I just haven't gotten on the computer at all. Things are going alright.... I'll try not to stay away too long....

A Lovely Day for a Parade

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 03:22:30 GMT

I am stunned, but we actually pulled it off!! We decided to make a smaller version out of cardboard that we could attach to her dog blanket. I figured since she's semi-used to wearing the doggie coat, maybe it wouldn't seem so freaky.

We started out with three cardboard sides, colored to look like a wooden chest. The girls (Kiki and her cousin N.) drew 'woodgrain' on it, and painted gold bands -

We cut 'coins' out of cardboard, glued them on and painted them gold. We glued on crowns and jewels and swirled glitter glue around to add extra sparkle....

This is the dog-sized horse blanket which is our dog's rain coat, that we attached this whole dealie to....

The unsuspecting victim....

And she's sooo thrilled about it, heheh.

But, it worked!! The walk just to the end of our subdivision to line up was awful - Kiki was excited but nervous, (so she was a bit on the snotty and freaked out side) Merry didn't want to walk nice on the leash... we'd lost one set of coins and a crown before the parade even started.... but! Once she got to start walking, Merry was such a good girl! She just stepped out lively with her head held high. I walked the route with them, just off to the edge, and I heard lots of nice comments about the "pirates and their treasure chest", lol. All in all, I guess I have to say it was worth the effort.

Waiting to line up -

Lined up -

and off we go!!

Oh, yeah, this is one of the great things about living in Small Town, USA. Not every kid gets to be in a parade!

Like I said, it was a beautiful day.

A Day in the Life

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 19:57:56 GMT

Somedays it seems like the school year will never really be over. Last Thursday was the last actual school day, but on Friday we had to go in to order curriculum for next year as well as try to sell our used books to other families... then, tomorrow we go back once again for classroom cleaning, school assembly, then a picnic. Well, it was supposed to be a picnic and games and such; however, the weather forecast is calling for cool weather and rain, so it probably won't be as fun as the kids were hoping for. Then on Thursday night we have our last school board meeting....maybe then we'll be done for the summer, eh?

I've decided to try to accomplish at least one thing each day this summer. That may not sound like much, but I've slid thru the last few years just "making it through" each day, only doing what had to be done, and I want more. Starting small seems reasonable. Yesterday I weeded the front flower beds and trimmed up the bushes there. It looks so much better. Today we (Kiki and I) took a walk around the neighborhood and dropped off advertising cards for my friend's consignment clothing business. We didn't get as far as I'd have liked, but at least we began. As soon as I'm done here, I think I'm going to head over to the nursery and pick up some colorful annuals to plant. (it seems like all I have out front is green or yellow... that's it. I need color!!) I probably shouldn't spend the money (or even the gas $$!) but, oh, well. I have a large(ish) wall calendar, and I think I will write up on the side 'notes' area all I want to accomplish this summer, then sort of spread that out over the actual dates and see where that gets me.... I seem to do better if I have a list to 'check off' as I go.... Of course, you have to know that my hope is also that as I do more, I will eat less.... sort of dieting in reverse, you could say. Because it hasn't been working too great the other way 'round.

Well, off I go, to accomplish some minor yet neccessary thing!!

So - It's June

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 02:26:38 GMT

Cryminitly.... That's all I have to say about that.

In Spite of it All, I Consider Myself Blessed

Tue, 27 May 2008 20:30:45 GMT

So I'm in the kitchen, trying to get the puppy to eat... Kiki comes in to get a pen, she pops it open and c r a c k there is a puddle of black ink filling up her hand...I yell at her "don't move!!" and she doesn't - almost. She is tipping her hand side to side, stunned at the ink there. Of course this means ink is dripping from her hand to the hardwood floor. I spin around to get some paper towels and wipes and nearly trip over the puppy. I whip my arm out to balance myself and knock a glass off the counter. It shatters on the floor. I now have a kitchen full of ink, glass, teary-eyed little girl and stunned puppy. I holler at Alan (who is blissfully unaware as he watches TV in the other room) "I need you NOW!!!" He comes in, I shove the pup at him and say "watch him while I clean up this mess!" He takes him into the den, where he isn't really watching so the pup, who begins to poo on the rug! (I should've put him right out since he'd eaten, but, well, you know, I was sort of occupied!!) He grabs the puppy who is now yelping and carries him outside, though the flow doesn't really stop...

Well, I got the mess cleaned up, put the pup in his crate and went to bed, grateful for a few hours of peace! This morning the pup got out front and Alan had to chase him halfway down the block - that dog was just heading out - fast!! - for parts unknown, I guess!! Crap. In so many ways. You know, I'm the one who's been on this 'bug-up-my-booty' gotta get another dog deal.... because I'm kinda crazy like that. Some days, I wonder why Alan puts up with me.

We finally got everything sort of under control, and Alan headed out to work, and Kiki and I to the Co-op. My phone rings, and it's Alan. You know what he says to me???

Honey, I just want you to know...I love you because of who you are, not in spite of it.

I just gotta love the man who loves me like that!!

I'm not completely gone :)

Wed, 21 May 2008 23:28:03 GMT

I suppose mentally, the jury is still out... lol. It's just been busy as heck around here, with all the end-of-year school stuff and trying to make summer plans, and trying to figure out if it's time to plant my annuals or cover up the plants for frost... it's still changing every day around here! Two days ago I had the air conditioning running; today I turned the heat back on. Sheeesh.

Yesterday Kiki's class had an all-day field trip to this deal called "Wagons Ho" which is learning about life on the Oregon Trail and frontier. It was cool; the kids had lots of hands-on activities. The folks in charge made lunch for us parents - beef stew and sourdough biscuits in a dutch oven! It was soooo good! Then there are tests and class parties and curriculum sale/swap and on and on... it's like we're trying to cram everything in at the last minute.

Today I tie-dyed a big bedsheet to make Kiki a costume for her play... I've never tie-dyed before, so I can't wait to see how it turned out! I can't untie and rinse it until tomorrow...poo-ie. She's in this play called "Angels" and she is a ... 'Hippie Angel'. Lol. So she'll be wearing a tie-dyed angel gown and a head band!

Tonight is awards night at AWANA's. Kiki is so excited because she got through her whole book so she is supposed to be getting a big ribbon.... she's totally jazzed. She even volunteered to take a shower! I didn't have to force her to! Amazing stuff.

Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I need to go get ready to head out for AWANA's.

Can I take a breath now?

Thu, 15 May 2008 18:15:05 GMT

It looks like I'm finally off the home page for Windows Spaces, so maybe now I can get back to my blog-walking and a normal amount of folks checking in here... maybe I'll even quit getting comments about 'buying gold' or 'peeons for hire' (what the????) or just stuff in Chinese that I can't even read... I'm so tired of all that stuff, and no way to block it, sigh.... so maybe it's just us again, eh? You, my friends on this place, old and new, the ones who actually comment and care !

So, what's new? Not my weight, unfortunately. I think I'll do better over the summer - when I don't have to talk to all the other moms about what they are and aren't eating, and the nutritional supplements they're taking and blah blah blah. It's that nasty little rebellious streak I'm fighting with, that, upon hearing the 'marvelous habits' of those skinny gals just whispers in my head "whatever, who cares what they do...hey, let's go get a donut on the way home..." Why couldn't I have rebelled in my teen years like a normal person and be over it now??

Nothing has changed financially yet... but nothing bad has happened either.... just drifting along with the tide, I guess, and waiting to see where it takes us.

I'm in a bit of a funk... as per normal, really, huh? Why doesn't that change so easily?

Only 2 more weeks of school after this one! Yay!! I'm really ready to be done...in fact, I've mentally checked out already. You know, more than usual.

Well, Kiki is bringing a friend home after school, and the house is a mess (what a shocker, eh?!) so I guess I need to at least make the place semi-presentable before this afternoon....

I'm hoping to come around and check on you all one of these days, soon...

Well, it got worse, but I'm okay now (well, as okay as ever!)

Tue, 13 May 2008 06:18:57 GMT

We took the dog back, which really was sad, but I felt a great relief when it was over - obviously, it wasn't meant to be. Even Kiki said, "well, I don't feel so bad now - I'm just going to think of it as 'Merry had a sleep-over', that's all." The foster gal was very sweet about it, and I did admit to her that he wasn't so awful that he wouldn't ever get along with a cat at all...that maybe, since Bob loves Merry and gets a big thrill out of attacking her, and he did indeed launch himself (playfully!) at the poor Springer the very moment he came inside, well, maybe they just got off on the wrong foot!

Later, we went to my parent's house where we were all having a Mother's Day BBQ. Which was really nice - until the very end, as we headed to the car to leave. We were parked in the driveway, and down both sides of my car were long, deep scratches... it seems my nephew (he's 8) was riding the old bike without hand grips a little too close to my car.... AARrrggghhh!!! These scratches, I'm talking both of them over a foot long and down to the metal! Of course it was right down the middle so it affects all 4 doors... crap. He had to have known he did it, but decided to pretend it didn't happen... they had already left by then, so later on when I went over to their house to take my niece home (she'd come home with us to play with Kiki) I had to tell the parents about it, and confront my nephew. This was a really hard thing for me; I really agonized over what I should do. Ignore it? Confront it? The thing is, I believe that doing something like that and not confessing is just about equal to lying. At my house, you'd better 'fess up if you have an accident.... because if I find it later - and I will - then your butt will really be in a sling! Which is how I knew Kiki hadn't done it, because she'd have been inside all hysterical and scared... the other two nieces were inside the whole time...so that left the nephew and his sister (the one at my house) as the only suspects. This whole family has trouble with lying to begin with. It started with my little sister and her husband, so the kids learned early to lie to get out of trouble... then, the new wife, well, she isn't a whole lot better that I can see. Plus, she is horribly strict with the kids - lots of law, not much grace... so I know they lie to try not getting punished. Which made it so hard to 'tattle' so to speak! I really, really felt like he (or they) had to admit what they'd done and say they were sorry for damaging my car. I told them I understand accidents happen, but that they need to be honest when these things happen and see if they can 'make it right' somehow; at least apologize. It was agonizing to stand there, watching him deny and deny and then finally admit "well, I did a little of it, but not all of it" ... still, trying to shift the blame somehow... it's horrible. And my niece basically admitted the same.... But, to have it plain in your face and still be unwilling to just say "Yes, I did it, and I'm really sorry"... I don't know, I just don't get that. I wasn't raised that way! Well, I told them I forgave them, and I loved them, and please if something like that happened again would they just tell me up front. But then I have to worry about how my b-i-l's wife is going to punish them - I know that it will be way too harsh, and I feel really bad about that. So, I just hope my niece and nephew won't hate me forever for being the Aunt-that-tattled. How would you have chosen to handle this situation??

So, all in all in was a pretty lousy day! I went to bed last night and slept for 12 hours!! The stress got to me, I guess. I have no idea how I will ever afford to get the car fixed... since Alan isn't selling anything.... But, it's a new day... and tomorrow is coming soon...

Another one bites the dust....

Thu, 01 May 2008 06:19:07 GMT

It's the last day of April. Jiminy crickets, where does the time go??

Alan is loving his job, and I think he's sold 11 RVs so far. Not bad for a newbie. Still haven't got the slightest clue how that adds up in $$.

Tomorrow is his day off, so to celebrate our anniversary, we are going to drop Kiki off at the co-op, then....well... I don't know exactly. Kick around downtown, get a mocha, do some window-shopping, go out to lunch.... that sort of thing. Just talk together. When did we do that last??!

My site was mentioned again, and suddenly I am getting so much spam! What is up with that?? Anyone want to buy some gold?? lol. I'm having trouble getting them all deleted...

I am soooo tired, again. A gal in our little cabin room (at the retreat) told me she had awakened early, and was lying in her bed listening to me sleep (which would seem kinda weird but this particular woman is a friend of mine!) she told me she is sure I have "sleep apnea". She said her husband has it, so she knows how it plays out, and I definately was stopping and starting on the whole breathing thing. Which would explain the constant sleepiness, ya think?

Last week I found a Golden Retriever that was up for a 'rescue' and Alan gave the go-ahead to call on it! I'd really like another dog for Merry to romp with. I'd made arrangements to go see him last Thursday, but that's when Kiki got the flu. So I called to put it off until this week (since I'd be gone Fri - Sun at retreat). The gal who had him said her boyfriend was all ticked because the dog had chewed up the remote that day while they were both at work, so he wanted the dog gone NOW. I asked her to please call me if they were willing to wait until Monday night....she said okay - but she never did call back. I guess they ended up taking him to the pound. I think that's really sad.

Bobthecat has been getting into so much, and yesterday he jumped up on top of my china hutch. That was a new place for him. I yelled at him for that one... because the top of that hutch is covered in expensive antique crystal and depression glass. The cat might feel some serious hurt if he starts breaking stuff.

I've gotten addicted to little wild bird type figurines and nic-nacky stuff....

Hey Howdy Hay!!

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:14:09 GMT

Well, I'm back from the retreat. It was awesome, of course. Nothing huge or amazing happened - to me, that is - but you know, that's because I don't really need anything huge and amazing... life is fairly good right now! We had a wonderful time of worship, and our speaker was, well, just my type - deep but totally hilarious at the same time - that's what speaks best to me. You may have noticed I'm kinda like that. Well, liking the funny stuff... maybe not so much "deep", lol!! The last day, during the sharing time (gals can go up and share what's happened to them, or what the retreat meant for them, whatever) and my sister and I had been talking earlier in the day about the little stuff we're dealing with that is troublesome in our lives... neither of us has huge issues right now, just the little things that cause grief in your life.... then there are these women sharing about huge traumas that the Lord has delivered them from, or the gal who said she'd had a 23 year Meth addiction before giving her life to Christ - my sister leans over and whispers to me "so, how stupid are we to forget that God can - and will - fix the silly little problems in our lives??" No doubt! He brought my husband and I through marital hell (and saved that marriage, that is!) and I worry that He won't help me pay my bills....hmmm. One thing that I thought was really cool was that several women got up and said that they were brand new to our church and how nice the women had been to them, that they felt welcomed and loved right off... I think that speaks volumes about the amazing women we have at our church!

Speaking of Marital Hell.... lol..... today is my 24th wedding anniversary!! Yay Us!!

IN other news....

This is the cat in Kiki's school backpack.....

He's unhappy because I put away all the hair doobies so he has nothing to drop into the water dish. Which, by the way, some gal asked me at the retreat why in the world I would call them "doobies" because that's what you call pot .... uh, well, that actually never crossed my mind...but it will now, thanks!

As you can see, though, he's finding new items to use....what would I have to laugh at if not for him?!

It doesn't seem as funny anymore

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:39:30 GMT

When I first tried to post about my little Friday night adventure, it seemed "oh-so-funny".... now it's just like, yeah, whatever...you went to a bar. Yay you. But I'll tell you anyway. I guess the funniest part was coming home and telling Alan that I went to a bar, because I'd told him I was going to take my sister out for espresso, lol. It was fun to see the expression on his face! Here's the deal - it was my sister's birthday, and all her family members had other commitments (choir, youth retreat, etc.) so she was going to be alone for the night. Since both of our daughters were going to a Sunday School Pizza & Bowling party, I told her I'd take her out for coffee while the girls were gone. Well, it turned out that her older son's commitment was playing a 'gig' at a local bar, so we went to hear him, instead. It wasn't even a real bar, anyway...!! It is an art gallery; the woman who owns it is, well, probably around my age - 40? 50? She makes these amazing metal sculptures, and many were on display, including the bar, the back (wall art) of the bar, fireplace screen, floor heater-vent grates, on and on. Totally cool. In the center of the main room was this awesome thing she made that was like a place to stand around and set your drinks on, but also a torch, sort of... like, there was fire in the center towards the top, and flat areas around it... impossible to describe, I suppose. Wish I'd had my camera, but maybe I wouldn't have been allowed to take pictures... the place is a "wine and cigar bar"; mainly upscale and well-dressed middle aged folks in there - not what you think of as a typical "bar crowd". Nope, I'm not as wild as I'd like to think. But you all knew that already, huh?! Thank goodness for some reason I'd decided to do something with my hair, and wear makeup, so I didn't feel so much "bull-in-the-china-shop" as I can often do. Upstairs was the smoking room, and it was neat because the wall on the way up was totally covered with wooden cigar box lids, like an amazing kind of wallpaper. The stair railing was metal sculpture, and then out on the balcony was this fire-pot, chimayo type deal that she's made....again, just the coolest stuff!! Smelled like my dad's workshop, lol. Oh, and she's made this copy of the Statue of Liberty but she's doing a Martial Arts kick... like, "America Kicks Butt" kind of thing. Hilarious!

My nephew was playing with just two other people (it's a small place, and it was just for background music, really) a guy on guitar and a gal singing. My nephew was playing this:

It's called a "cajon" which is Spanish for 'box', (who'da guessed??) and I guess it originated in Peru. You sit on it and play it with your hands. It has some sort of wires inside you can adjust the tension on to change the sound. It had a good sound!

So there you have it. Someday, when I do something really wild, you'll all be really surprised!!

Sometimes I hate my computer (or my typing skills)

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 19:52:22 GMT

I was typing this enormously long entry, I'd saved it as a draft, I hit - I have no idea what - as I was typing, and "poof", it's gone. The whole stinkin' thing. I hate that. So, forget it. I'll tell you some other day about my sister and I going out to the bar! 'Cause I'm just mad, now!

Well, shoot. Now what am I gonna talk about? OH!! Here's a good one.... this is a conversation we had over lunch today.

Kiki: "Dad?"

Alan: "What?"

Kiki: "I want to ask you something."

Alan: "Okay."

Kiki: "Well, do you... well, what I wonder is... well..."

Alan: "What?"

About now, I am starting to giggle on the inside, because I have a feeling this is gonna be good....

Kiki: "Are you like... normal men?"

Alan: "Huh?!"

Kiki: "I mean, like... most men...well..."

Alan: "Well, I think I have most of the same parts."

Kiki: "Daddy! That is not what I meant!"

Me: "Just ask him, already." (because by now I am dying to know what she's thinking about!)

Kiki: (deep breath) "Do you like women's b*#bs?"

Picture me laughing so hard that I am choking on my lunch!! Kiki's face is getting red, but not as red as Alan's! I knew this was gonna be funny!!

Alan: "I don't think I want to have this conversation!"

What she basically wanted to know was if he was - well, fixated, ya know - on "big" uh, upper bodies. Like the guys on (a tv show we watch). Okay, first off, yeah, we've been letting her watch stuff we shouldn't have, obviously. I hadn't even really noticed that part., so I guess we'd better be more careful, huh? As we talked, it became clear that what she really wanted to know was "Is my daddy a better man than that?" It was a very sweet question, when you think about it. So, we all had (After I was done laughing hysterically, and caught my breath!!) a good conversation about men, women, bodies, how God created us....etcetera.

There's never a dull moment when you have a deep-thinking little girl, lol! Oh, how good it feels to laugh, even laughing so hard you can't breathe!!

Certain Signs of Spring

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:57:19 GMT

I know it's Spring for sure. Why? Sure, there's the weather (it can be sunny and warm and then snow all in the same day) and of course the green grass is starting to pop up....no leaves on trees, yet, though. But the real sign is this -

Yep, the horses are back at the track. That's how I know it's really Spring.

(Just so you know, I don't 'hang out' at the track, lol! The path along the river where I like to take Merry on walks runs behind the fairgrounds, on the backside where the racetrack is. Of course, the horses being there, with the smells and all, probably contributes to just why I like to walk along there!)

Living at Church

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:29:12 GMT

I've decided to ask the church if they will just make me a little apartment on the campus somewhere. This week I was there Sunday (of course!) then Tuesday for school then back that evening for a school board meeting, tonight for Awanas, tomorrow is school then school board meeting (more interviews).... then Sunday I will be there during all three services to help run a fund raiser we're having for our women's retreat... If I lived nearby somewhere it wouldn't be so bad, but since I am almost a half hour away (or worse if it's rush hour traffic) .... well, somedays it would just be nice to stay in town!

Well, can't sit here long... last night my lower legs got all puffy! What's up with that??! (couldn't be that poundage I'm carrying...!)

The Great Blue Heron

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 06:37:53 GMT

The town I live in used to be mostly farms and cow pastures. This is rapidly changing, and for that I am sorry. I like cow pastures! Well, across the highway from where I live they have plowed under yet another pasture to cram a bunch of houses in. You can now see very clearly to the river - which, you probably could have before, but maybe the ranch house blocked this particular view, I don't know - but anyway, there are all these big dark spots way up in the trees lining the river. Cottonwood trees. Well, the other day in our little local paper, it said those were nests of the Great Blue Heron. So I had to go check it out! We have quite a few heron in our area, and if you would have asked me, I would have told you they nested on the ground somewhere, like the ducks and geese tend to do. Obviously not because it would have been an informed observation, just my (ignorant) opinion! I would also have thought they nested in solitary places, because when you see a heron out fishing, they are always alone. And yet, here they were, nesting high up in the tree tops, nest after nest after nest! It was very cool to see. I wonder how the new subdivision is going to mess this up.... will the birds leave? They are very sensitive birds who don't let you get too close. The developers are supposedly putting in a "conservation easement", but I wonder if that will be enough? I feel bad about how we are crowding out the wildlife. I pass developments where just last year I used to watch foxes hunt for mice...it's sad, I think. But here I am, living in 'their' space... it's not like I am innocent of it.

Be sure to check out my photo album of the Heron Rookery!

Hey!

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 01:50:30 GMT

That's it, just "hey". I just sat down and Alan said 'let's go do something.." Kiki had a last minute "sleepover at Nana's house" so I suppose we ought to make good use of the moment!

I'll try to come back later.... Cheers!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh...wait... I just read that and it sorta sounds... well .... like..... hmmm. What I mean is, we are going to GO OUT ~ for coffee, or shopping, or something.... Whew. I'd hate to put a scary picture in your head. LOL!!

MrS SkRuMshZ wins!!!

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:01:48 GMT

Yes, it's Hit Man...but now that you know, I'm going to have to kill you all....lol!! I can't tell you how many times he's actually said he'd like that job! And I'm like "yeah, right....you won't even go hunting because it makes you feel so bad." And he replies "but I'd only kill bad guys, so it'd be easy." Uhh-huh.

So - he's going to be an RV Salesman. (Mrs. S., how did you know??) How totally weird is that??! It is so completely off the wall that we figure it must be God's plan...not to mention it's the only job he was offered! He found out about it from a good buddy he went through Bible college with...this guy's brother-in-law is the GM there. Yes, it pays commission, so sure, that's a concern. He'll get a salary for the first couple months while he learns the ropes, but then it's sink or swim time. I know my hubby, though.... he always gives 110%, so I'm really not worried. Of course there is the issue of a lousy economy... but the rich always get richer and they are the ones who buy the most "toys"... time will tell, I guess. Supposedly, the top salesmen get triple-digit incomes... but I won't be holding my breath on that. I'll just be happy to pay my mortgage and car payment and still have grocery money, thank you. He starts this coming Monday. He's really excited! I'll be really happy if he has a job he doesn't dislike - that'd be nice for a change!

Kiki is finally feeling better. They still haven't figured out what was causing the fever, and that bothers me a bit. At least she is up and about. Today we went to the movies; we figured that'd be fun without wearing her out. We saw "Horton Hears a Who". Very, very cute!

I have to tell you, the serious 'must-lose-weight-crunch-time' has arrived. I feel lousy. It's weird, because I have been at this (enormous) weight for quite awhile now, but suddenly I feel it. It's like my body is trying to tell me "that's IT!! I am done packing this around!!" Because now I am exhuasted all the time (we were at Target the other day - a store I love love love, and I just went to sit in the new garden furniture area, like I was just too tired to look around any more!) - tired of suffocating myself while tying my shoes; tired of a trip to the car (in the garage!) making me breathe hard; tired of the incredible effort it takes to get myself up off the floor (I'm a floor-sitter... when I read, or watch tv, or play a game - I'd prefer to sit on the floor...but it's getting difficult.) It's just like suddenly I am aware of the extra effort it takes just to live while being obese. Things must change. I'm afraid, though. I have been failing at change for 10 years now.... I haven't got much faith in myself at this point.

Alan told me today that he and his buddy had a talk about how they haven't got a "passion". They are both just sort of drifting through life, waiting for something exciting to change it all. Then he said - and this is the good part - "You have a passion - horses. That has always been your thing, and we have to find a way to get you back to doing what you love most." Yeehaw!! At least he gets it... we'll see if that helps!

And now, the weather... today it was sunny....hailed...snowed....thunder and lightning....rainy....sunny.... Yep, it's springtime!

Kiki in our area's "Springtime Apparel"

Vote Now!! Vote Often!! Which job will now be paying my bills?

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:36:38 GMT

Yes!!! Alan has a job! Praise the Lord and pass the paycheck....!!!

Just to keep it interesting, I thought I'd see if any one of you can guess what Alan will be spending his time doing. I'll give you some basic information to help you out ~

In the past, he has worked in lawn care, pest control, (in both from grunt work to management), data storage, espresso bar management, and once owned his own espresso bar/cafe. He is tired of middle management and would like to do something totally different. However, finding work outside of your realm of experience is very tough to do. So, here is a list of possible jobs for him - one is what he will really be doing.

Starb*cks Barista/Assistant manager

Hit Man

Roofer

R V Salesman

Hospital Clown/Balloon Artist

Floor Manager @ a Call Center

Dept. Store Manager

Driving Instructor

So, whaddya think? Can you guess?

We are so thrilled he has a job! God is looking out for us, like we knew He would. Alan has this week off, so of course we thought "Cool! It's Spring Break, so we will all get to hang out and have some great family time!" Uh-huh....and so Kiki is really sick..... life is like that sometimes, isn't it?

Easter....was it??

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 06:24:59 GMT

Happy Easter!!!

Well, dang it. This was one of those days that didn't turn out at all like you'd hoped. Yesterday afternoon, Kiki started complaining of not feeling well. Her cousin had spent the night, but by this point all Kiki wanted to do was flake out in front of a movie. When my sis dropped by to pick up her daughter, Kiki didn't even come out to say 'hi'... which is so not like her. By last night she was running one heck of a temperature. It has gone up and down all day today - between 102 to 104. She has basically laid around all day today. Well, except she woke up at 6am and said "I feel fine now, can we go to Sunrise Service?" I replied, "no, you've been running too high of a temp., we can't go out today." Which totally bummed me out, because it's Easter! No church, no family meal.... pooh-ee. Then she popped back up at 7am, and it was all about when was I going to put out her Easter basket, and could we get up now, and blah blah blah blah....... (when she gets going, oh, man...!) We got up about 8, did the basket deal, then she laid around until daddy got home from church, did a quick egg hunt, then he left to do the 'family meal' with my extended family and Kiki and I watched another 2 or 3 or a million movies..... Somedays it's just hard being a mom. Poor kid, she was pretty upset about missing Sunrise service (we do a pretty cool one). Not to mention she feels crappy! I haven't been able to bring her temp. below 101 even with Motrin. If it's still up tomorrow, I'll take her to the doctor, but I'm glad I didn't have to go to the ER today! I mean, she's not eating much, but she is drinking, so I don't think she's getting dehydrated. The weird thing is, she isn't complaining of any particular ache or pain. She says her tummy hurts a little. She isn't throwing up or anything - just steamin' hot.

So that was my Easter. I can tell you I snarfed down waaaay too much chocolate since I was sitting around here with it calling my name and no one to keep me out of it!! Urgh. My belly feels bloated.

The cat, of course, found a way to enjoy the Easter basket.....

Guess he didn't read that "danger of suffocation" warning on the bag... !

My Brain is on Spring Break ~ but, I didn't get yelled at by my Doctor!

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 22:50:20 GMT

Yesterday, someone called Alan to give him some info. He was napping (yeah, he's loving not going to work!) so I took a message. For some reason, my brain was just not collecting the info. I am sure the person on the other end didn't think that Alan would understand what he needed to know! He did - somehow it all made sense after I hung up the phone. Today, Kiki and her cousin were here dyeing Easter eggs. Well, I have been doing this for many, many years.... I should remember how it works, huh? Not to mention I am always on Kiki's case about reading the directions completely before beginning a project.... well, it said "add vinegar or lemon juice to the tablet in a 1 cup glass" so I put a cup of water in a glass, dropped the tablet in, put in the lemon juice (I don't have any vinegar for some reason). Well, the tablets just would not dissolve! I was blaming the lemon juice.... until I read all the directions... which followed the "lemon juice and tablet in a glass" with "after the tablet dissolves, add 1/2 cup water"... oh - oops - not "a glass of 1 cup of water" but a glass which would hold one cup.....duh!! I know you dissolve the tablet first!!! Well, I didn't tell the girls because they would have been all "this isn't working!" so what they didn't know didn't hurt them! The colors aren't blazing, but they are perfectly happy with how their eggs turned out, so all's well that ends well I suppose!

In other news, my doctor's office called... my blood work came back and not only am I not teetering on the brink of diabetes, (which of course then doesn't explain the funky skin growths!) but I also don't need to go back on any cholesterol meds! She wants me to take some "long lasting Niacin" (apparently it aids your body in not hanging onto the fats in foods) but that is all for now. So, my attempts at better eating have actually made a difference! YAY ME!!!

Shove me in the shallow water before I get too deep

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 05:32:02 GMT

Yeah, that is some weird song from the 80's....(and some say the lyrics are "choke me in the shallow waters.....?? Huh??...) but the point is, sheesh!! I have been doing waaay too much introspection lately. Must be that this clean and tidy house is messing with my head! You realize it's been a whole week, and my home is still tidy?! Whoa. I guess without all that mess swirling around in my brain, I've been able to think of other things.... guess I need to find a hobby. Or read more. Or mess up the house.

So, let's get light, shall we? I'd love too, because being heavy is hard work. (I'm actually not talking about the introspection here - I'm talking plain old too-many-pounds-on-me heavy. I swear it's wearing me out! I feel really f a t right now....the past couple weeks. As if I wasn't fat before? No. Just that I am really feeling it now, somehow. Hmmm.) Okay, so I said I wasn't going to talk about anything serious! Stop it!

Kiki practiced for our church's Palm Sunday drama this afternoon. She is playing the part of a young disciple. It's going to be pretty cool. The best part is the guy who plays Jesus - he is from India. He's a regular member of our church, plays keyboard on one of the worship teams, a really nice guy.... it's just that, to me, he makes the most awesome looking Jesus! He's the right age, and with his brown skin and black hair (which is shoulder length and wavy!) it's just too right. I always thought a blonde-haired blue-eyed Jesus didn't quite fit - I mean, he's middle eastern, right? Jewish?! The nasty thing is that we have to be at church at 7am....which means leaving here at 6:30....which means getting up at 5:30!! Uhg. I don't do mornings!!

Alan has a job interview on Monday! I am trying not to get my hopes up yet... he doesn't even know the full details of the job. But he feels good, because at least it's something. Finally talking to someone. That in itself means alot.

Our dog has been limping, and it has me worried. I hope she's just pulled a muscle or something...but it seems like it's up in her hip, and it's been 5 days now. It's better, but not fine. The worrisome part is that she was one of only two surviving puppies in the litter, and her sister got put to sleep at the age of only 4 because she had slipped and fallen and couldn't get up - when the vets x-rayed her, she had absolutely no hip joints - none at all. A birth defect. They couldn't figure how she'd functioned at all up til then. Our dog has always sat funny - with her hips rolled under and her back legs sticking out too far in front. She looks like as much of a doofus as she acts like!! I'll give her a few more days until I take her to the vet - hopefully, like I said, she just pulled something and it's taking some time to heal.

Uh, gosh - I really haven't got anything else to say. Oh, wait, I lied.... Alan and I went browsing around some stores while Kiki was at practice today (not really enough time to go back home, so we just stayed in town) I love all the spring and Easter decorations! I'd have totally spent some money if Alan hadn't been there! I mean, hey, we have to get some Easter stuff for our daughter's basket, don't we?? Alan said "absolutely NO stuffed animals this year!!" I was just like "Yeah, whatever, dude." Because Kiki's fave thing ever is stuffed animals. Sure, she has too many. But what is Easter without a fuzzy bunny or a fluffy chick??! Geez - dads....they just don't get this stuff!