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Mama's Midlife Mirejust a beautiful disaster
June 25 Trying to breatheI am trying really hard not to freak out. It's hard. There is so much to do, & so little space to do it in!
Yesterday afternoon we started unloading the moving truck. First I have to say - the packers are idiots. Is it really so hard to do things right?? I'm no professional, but even I know that packing the plastic, covered cat litter box under the heavy boxes is so not gonna work. Morons. So, of course it was crushed, causing everything above - including my china hutch (yeah, on top of the other stuff!!) to shift and fall. Alan fell off a stepladder tying to get the top stuff and smacked his head hard.... thank the Lord, he's alright. Of course we didn't get finished... too much stuff, too much heat, not enough (not any!) help.... we'll hit it again this afternoon when he gets off work.
Moving is so hard - trying to find your way around a new town, figuring out where stuff is, feeling alone and sad for your kids feeling alone as well.
I know it will all work out.... I will be glad when the truck is all unloaded and then next week when we can move into the 'big' apt. and actually start to settle in... that'll be good. June 24 UhckThat is how I feel today...just, uhck. I am tired, sad, stressed, and my legs...well, they have been doing this achy, burny, itchy deal.... I'm not sure what's up with that. If it's stress, or because I've been on them too much with all my extra weight, or if it has to do with my back being messed up. But, it's driving me nuts, really.... constant irritation. It almost feels like a combination of sunburn and rash (but I haven't got either). And achy muscles as well. I found my awesome chiropractor (he actually skipped town with our money) but he's about 3 hrs south of here! Must be fate, eh? So, I may show up and tell him to get busy fixing me! Hah!
Today Alan is getting off work early and we have to start unloading our moving truck. I am feeling soooo stressed; wondering how much of our stuff is broken in there (we haven't had good luck moving in the past). Mostly I just hope Kiki's stuff is okay... she needs that. Poor kid. Figures that today is the hottest and most humid so far....niiiice. Should be a good time.
Moving is so hard. June 23 Here we are!!Virginia!! Wow, here we are. It is so beautiful here... and so far, the weather hasn't been horrible. I mean, humidity-wise. The trip was - loooooooong. As in over 2,600 miles long! We went through 13 states! The dog didn't mind, but can't say that about the cat, lol. What worked was tranquilizing him then letting him loose in the car.... he hunkered down beside the car door and back seat where my daughter was sitting, and then he was content - enough. It's interesting living in a tiny one bedroom apartment. Not nice - but interesting. Ha. It's been forever since I've lived in an apartment complex; it's really weird. Kiki isn't doing well with the move - she's cranky, irritable, grumpy.... and just wants to "go home". sigh. It's hard being a mom, when the world is hard and you just can't fix it. When we get moved to the "big" apt. (still, half the size of the house we left behind) I will get my computer set up, then I'll have lots of pics to share with you! June 09 And off I gooooo........... off my rocker, that is. I just can't stop crying. This move is the hardest we've ever made, and we've made plenty! I think this is #14 or so..... But this has been the worst ever. Maybe doing it alone, with Alan so far away; being a "single mom"; and the realization that I'm moving 2,500 miles away from all I know and love.... I am so sad to be leaving my family that I just ache. Not to mention that my legs ache from standing all day on that hard cement garage floor, trying to make some semblance of order out there.... it didn't really happen, but I'm done trying. It's too late now. The packers will be here in the morning, and it's up to them now.
Pray for me, to keep my sanity (what's left of it!) Poor Alan, he called today and all I could do was sob into the phone. I have cried so much today. Poor Kiki, wonders what's up with mama. I'm not helping her spirits, to be sure. Then there is the missing Nintendo DS - Kiki wanted to take it on the trip, of course.... but we can't find it anywhere. Her cousin played with it last, when he spent the night a couple weeks ago.... hopefully we can call in the morning and he might remember where he left it... but I haven't got high hopes of that. Again, pray for us..... poor Kiki, went to bed in tears, because she knows if it's gone, we can't afford to replace it.
The good news is that Alan flies in Friday night. I have missed him soooo much! It will be incredibly good for our little family to be back together again. Then we'll have a nice little trip together. Nintendo or not.
Well, tomorrow this computer will be packed up, and I don't know how long until I will be back online....so, goodbye for now, and I will check in as soon as I am able! Again, keep us in your prayers as we make this journey.
June 06 9 DAYS!!!! Are you counting???I am so not gonna be ready!! Because, not only do I need to pack and clean (well, uncover and unclutter) the garage - which is not happening - but I told Kiki she could do her birthday early since we'll be in Virginia on her 'real' birthday, and chances are she won't have anyone to invite over..... which would be tragic, I am sure! So it's 2am and I just finished baking her cake - still have to frost it (tomorrow) and finish her poodle skirt (tomorrow) and go to bed (NOW!)
At least I've made the dog happy -
 Is that PINK cake, or what?? (stay tuned for the finished product!)
 And the poodle skirt.... she wanted a 50's t heme
 June 02 Must be the stressAlright, this is HORRIBLE!! My legs are all itchy and tingly, like there are bugs crawling on them!! It's horrible... I could barely sleep last night, and today I was absentmindedly scratching one leg, and I did it so long and hard I actually have a big ol' bruise on my leg! Geeezzz.... I can barely take it...... June 01 14 DAYS!!!!!!!Did you see my ticker at the top of the page??! 14 days 'til our move!! I think it is about time for my panic attack. Meltdown? Maybe a full-fledged nervous breakdown. Somethin's gonna happen! Well, maybe I'll just clean out the garage. And trim the monster of an arbor out front. And do some laundry. Either way...!
Let's see, an update so far:
The dog is doing great. Limping still, but the leg is getting stronger.
The cat is great too. Took him in for shots today. He was so not thrilled.
School is DONE!!!! YAY!!!!!
The house is good, but not sold.
The garage is awful. That's my job for this week.
Trying to take care of all the last minute details.
Car is still in the shop. Urgh. Thank the Lord for parents willing to share a car. (and a nice car! it's sooo fun to drive!) Hope the mechanic figures it out, because cross-country in the summer with no A/C sounds really bad.
Well, gotta go make dinner! C~ya
May 20 Another day, another problemWell, this isn't the post I was going to write yesterday (or was it the day before?) but it's where I am today!I don't know... this deal just gets crazier (at least, more annoying) by the day! Alan called today, and we have to decide by tomorrow if we want to keep our reserve on a 2 bdrm apt. in the complex he is in. He is currently in a tiny 1 bdrm., which I really would hate to live in with the three of us plus the cat and the dog. I went a bit stir crazy just over the weekend we visited him there! However..... when he moved in, they were rather low on renters and were having pretty good deals, so his rent isn't too bad. We expected higher rent for the 2 bdrm., obviously, but not a ridiculous sum! Well, now that it's nearly summer - and therefore aparently everybody and his brother is moving into a new apt. (why???) the rates have skyrocketed! In fact, just since last week when he looked at an available apt., the price of that one has gone up $100./month! No freakin' way! Then, he went to ask some questions about it yesterday, then again today to reserve it, and it went up $10.00 since yesterday! (to give you an idea, the rent there for a 2 bed, under 1000 sq. ft. apt. will be more than our mortgage payment on our 3 bdrm + bonus room 1900 sq. ft. house with a nice yard!! plus the $300 month for a storage unit 'cause the apt. is just too dang small!) Then here is the kicker - as if that's all not bad enough - when he moved in, he had to sign a 14-month lease. He supposedly talked to the mgmt. about continuing that particular lease when we upgraded to a 2 bedroom... now they are saying they can't do that. (In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion he assumed they'd do that and didn't really ask like he was supposed to) So, our choices are to: 1) stay in his tiny 1 bdrm for 9 months or: 2)rent the bigger apt. and be stuck there for 14 months. I hate both options. I am not an apartment dweller!! I want a yard, and lots of closets, and a yard, places to plant stuff.....and a yard.... the only reason we went with an apt. was because we know jack-diddly-squat about the area and wanted to be close to his job until we decided where to live. Now I feel like we are stuck in a horrible spot. Urgh. I halfway don't even want to go anymore. Can't he just commute?? Can't someone give him a job right HERE??
Well, that's my rant for the day! Oh, wait, no, I'm not done yet.....
My sister has been driving me crazy lately. I love her dearly, but she's just... well.... a little self-absorbed at times. Anytime someone talks about something going on in their life, she always has an "oh, I know how you feel, but I've had it worse" remark. And, she hasn't, generally. Like, someone could say " I have to have my foot amputated" and she'd respond "oh, I know just how you feel, because my little toe has been broken 3 times".... as if that's as bad!! So, tonight, I am telling her about this apartment dilemma, and she says we ought to just stay in the little one, it wouldn't be that bad, she knows because she's done the same thing..... "after all, there were 7 of us living in 700 sq ft." Okay, what really happened is this.... yes, 7 of them in that house - (her & hubby, their 4 kids and one fiance, and it was over 1000 sq ft but some of it was torn up) - in that house they'd just bought and were in the process of remodeling to over 2000 sq ft..... plus, two kids and the fiance were just there temporarily.... so, she knew the situation would be over soon..... Okay, so is it just me, or is that really NOT THE SAME??? This irritation has been building for awhile, and that was about the last straw. I swear, she is happy to see me suffer. Oh, not consciously, I know... she has a good heart..... but, really....... I'm about ready to go off on her!
Okay, NOW I am done.
 May 17 29 Days?????!!!Oh-My-Gosh!!! I'm thinking the whole 'event tracker thingie' is only there to make me nervous, lol! First it seemed like forever until Kiki and I would be joining Daddy in Virginia, and now I only have 29 days!! Yikes!
Oh, crap!! I had a whole huge entry written, then "pop" it just disappears!! I swear, I am beginning to hate Spaces! Well, hate it more.... Urgh. I'll come back later and write my post... May 10 Happy Mother's Day!I hope everyone out there had a nice Mother's Day! Mine was nice altho it was not what I'd had planned - we were going to go to my sister's house, where all her children were making dinner for their family, Kiki and I, and my mom and dad. However, Kiki has had the flu since Thursday night, and even still this morning was running a temp., so I didn't want to give her germs to the rest of my family... so, she and I stayed home and watched movie aftermovie after movie.... we've been doing a lot of that the last few days! She felt bad that she'd "ruined" my Mother's Day.... I told her, I'm spending time with my daughter, and that's the best.
Of course, I mowed the lawn and trimmed some shrubs and pulled a few weeds, which some might think shouldn't have to be done on Mother's Day; but actually Ididn't mind that. What I would have liked to have avoided was cooking dinner tonight... but no one else was here, so what can ya do?
I pulled a lovely one-inch piece of suture out of Merry dog's leg tonight... she didn't appreciate it too much. And it totally grossed Kiki out. So that was fun! I don't know how much more I need to get out before it can finally heal up. Good thing I don't mind doing vet work!
Well, again, hope y'all had a great day!! |
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